I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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