found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
