you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
