so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
