This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
