i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
