We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
