Just took my morning after pill in the library
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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