I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
