I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
