But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I wish you could order shots online.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
