yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
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you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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