note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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