It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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