So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
