You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
