is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
