my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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