physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
