Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
