just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
