I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
