the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
