Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We need to get me chipped asap
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
