please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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