; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
