There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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