you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
