Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
