my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
