you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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