Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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