But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
