Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
