Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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