I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
