Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
