The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
