i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
