Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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