please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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