I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
