didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
