If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
