Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
