You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
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I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
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I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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