you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
