I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
