It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
