There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
