hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dignity is for republicans.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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