We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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