he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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