she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
