k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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