i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
