so explain again why im purple
no
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
