I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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