my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
