I want to stick my p in your. b.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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