just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
