we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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