I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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