This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
