oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
