it wasn't lemon gatorade
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
